Sundays are hard since my father passed away a month ago. He'd always come over every Sunday to see me and the girls. It's been since before my birthday at the end of November that my dad came over for the last Sunday. Gosh, had I known that Sunday would be the last I would have talked a little more, given him extra cookies, taken in every single wrinkle on his hands when I went to hold his hand to say goodbye like we did. He'd grab my hand and say "thank you very much Mija" and I would say "hey anytime dad, I love you!" "I love you too" Emphasizing every single word with a nod of his head. Gosh I miss that little man.
Today is a beautiful day. A day that my dad would be outside with the girls watching them play or ride their bikes. 'Come on grandpa, lets go outside" Why does this hurt so much? Losing the man that meant the whole wide world to me for the longest time. The man that even when he screwed up was still always there for me? Because that's what the best dads do. They support their families, they love them, even when they don't deserve it. They are kind to everyone and would do anything to help if they could. That was my dad. He wasn't perfect. Hell when he passed away he was on probation for falling victim to a few guys that got him to go cash stolen checks.... Taking advantage of someone who was vulnerable.
This post has led into Monday. A whole month since my dad has been gone. Between last night and this morning I have been struggling with everything that has to deal with what happens after a death. Insurance policies to be exact. My dad left me two small policies. My brother thinks he's entitled to half of those policies. I do not. This will most certainly cause issues in our what is already strained relationship. My dad left those policies to me and me alone. If he had wanted to leave my brother anything then he would have. All I can think about is that my brother is going to just blow it on weed and beer. He can't even manage to pay for the phone bill. A whole 37.00 that he can't even come up with and expects me to pay his bills to with the hope he'll give me the money back eventually. I am not my dad or my mother and no one is going to bully me into giving him half of something he doesn't deserve. I'll die on that hill. Money really does bring out the ugly in people. 💰💸